'Twas the night before surgery....

It's the night before my double mastectomy and the last time I'll spend with 'my girls' and OH I will miss them so. I have been through such a range of emotions these past three weeks I don't know how to begin to express them all. First there were tears, then sadness, then strength, and more sadness, then courage, and so on the cycle has gone.

I never would have thought I would be one to get cancer. Of course, we never think it's going to happen to us. However, with the way my life has been going these past couple of years why not throw in a cancer chaser to the death of my sister, me taking in my niece and nephew, bringing my brood to four, and a husband who decided he didn't want to be married anymore! With all of this I can honestly say I never asked "Why me?" My faith leads me to assume that God wouldn't have given it to me if I couldn't take it...so 'take it' I shall!

In the past three weeks I have also been A-M-A-Z-E-D by the people in my life. I have received immeasurable amounts of love, support, compassion, hugs, cards, calls, e-mails, and anything else you can imagine!! I have been overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of others and it makes me feel that if I died tomorrow I couldn't have been blessed any more than I have already!

I knew tonight was going to be extremely emotional for me especially once the kids were gone and I was alone. My anxiety has built to a fever pitch but at this very moment I am exhausted. I just want to get it over with and begin this journey of recovery because the waiting is what's killing me slowly. I feel as though the best is yet to come. Everything I have been through has been preparation for a blessing bigger than me that I cannot wait to receive.

So with that, I am going to call it a night and get some rest so I can wake up in the morning and FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!