I'm sitting here and I should really be in bed by now. Lexi has to be at the hospital by 5:45 am for surgery number two . She's not even 15 yet and this is her second go-round with having fibroid adenomas removed. I promise you, this was not the legacy I wanted to leave my daughter.
Since she found her first lump over a year ago, I have been a nervous wreck. Can you imagine being a six-year breast cancer survivor, living with the possibility that you could hand that nice little package down to your baby girl? That has been my reality since December 17, 2010. Last year my reality almost became a nightmare. That was when she found her first lump. I walked around numb and on the verge of tears for over a week while waiting for an appointment and some answers.
By the grace of God, it turned out benign, NOT cancerous. We both shared a hug, a few tears, and a heavy sigh of relief. Her diagnosis was not a death sentence and we were grateful. She was assigned to come in for ultrasounds every six months in order to keep tabs on their growth and development. Lo and behold, It was shortly after her first ultrasound that she found mass number two. It had grown exponentially since our last visit to the radiologist and our standing appointment needed to be pushed up...STAT!
So here we are again, just over a year since the first surgery. My biggest concerns are: 1. Are her fibroids going to keep growing at this rate that requires us to have surgery every year? 2. At what point will it ever end? When will enough be enough? 3. Will a mastectomy be her ultimate fate or is does it present the possibility that years of these abnormal cells cohabitating in her body ay turn to something life-threatening.
I sit here watching her sleep, quietly praying that she receives a clean bill of health, that the fibroid adenomas disappear, and that my baby girl can just go back to being a kid for the few years she has left until she is forced with the burden of adulthood.