Last night, after the kids left, I sat right down and had myself a cry. Mothers will understand why I was moved to tears.
Almost everyday after school the kids come and visit me and we have dinner together before they go home where my aunt is taking care of them. I stay at my dad's where my step-mom is taking care of me. Well, for some unknown reason last night my 3-year old, Zion, goes into the other room and is crying really hard. I call him out and over to me and he cannot articulate the reason he was crying. The moment didn't last long and within minutes his face was clear and beaming as he normally is but from that moment on he wouldn't leave my side. Then it occurred to me that "I think he misses me." At that moment I so desperately wanted to pick him up and hold him in my lap but I couldn't. Per the doctor's instructions I cannot lift anything heavier than five pounds. My heart BROKE. I want to hold my baby again and I can't and it's the worst feeling ever. I had to settle for letting him stand in front of me while I hugged him as he finished watching Spongebob. Today, I officially HATE CANCER!
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