Cotton Ball Giggles

It's funny how you can swear you'd never do something then lo and behold you catch yourself doing the very thing you swore you'd never do? Well I have found myself in that predicament having experienced breast cancer and sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.

At the school where I teach there was a retired teacher who used to volunteer a few days a week. It was obvious she had had a mastectomy because she didn't wear a prosthesis and just walked around flat chested. I thought to myself, "There's no way I'd ever do that!"

Soon after my surgery, even before I left the hospital, there was a lady who came by my room and brought me this fancy undershirt with breast inserts for me to wear so I could be comfortable and look 'normal' when I went out in public. It was all packaged in this pretty box and I was ecstatic she did because there was no way I would be caught DEAD in public with no boobs!!! However, I didn't count on having drainage tubes coming from my sides that were attached to my skin by two flimsy stitches that would cause me such immense pain. So much so, I didn't even like to put on clothes. I had three humongous t-shirts that I wore in constant rotation because they were so loose there was minimal contact with the tubes.

Anytime I had a doctor appointment I would put on one of those t-shirts and a pair of pants and go.  Yep, you guessed it.....NO BOOBS! The pain of anything touching those tubes or of one being snagged, pulled, or jostled unexpectantly was too much to take so flat chested I was! The first couple of times I would stare longingly at the pretty box but then I would think of the pain and it always won out. My kids never even gave me being flat chested a second thought or comment because I had explained what was going to happen to me with them in detail. My daughter even asked to see my scar and I didn't hesitate to show her so this was all second nature to them.

Well, I've been home for three days now after a month of separation so my kids have been pretty much underfoot after being separated for so long. Saturday night my daughter was sitting on my bed and happened upon the box. "Mom what's this?" she asked. "Those are my cottonball boobs," was my reply. She looked at me with a confused stare and asked if she  could see. Naturally, I said yes. So she opened the box and there they lay....two big "cottonball-like" spheres. She looked at me, I looked at her and we both broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

Sunday my brother got baptized so I got up, showered, lay my clothes out, and reluctantly opened the box. There was no way I was going to church 'flat'. It was defintely a boob occasion. I got dressed and was ready to leave when Lexi gave me a weird look. I knew she was surveying my new 'curves' so, once again, we broke out into giggles.

Today the doctor removed the drainage tubes and I feel as though I have been set free from bondage. The first thing I thought about was those cottonball boobs and my daughter. Now, if you know me then you know there aren't many limits to my sense of humor. Since she goes to the school where I work and I'm close friends with her teacher I decided to text her teacher so she could tell Lexi I had on my 'cottonballs'. By this time I'm cracking up to myself because I could only imagine what her reaction was going to be. About an hour passes by and I get this response from her teacher, "She gave me a funny look and said No, she only wears those to church!"

Needless to say I burst out into more laughter and my soul has been pleased. Today my wish is that you all have 'cottonball giggles'.